Four years since my life feel apart. Four years from when I first was willing to bring up purposely forgotten memories. Four years ago was hell.
Four years since life restarted. Four years of healing. Four years of journeying. Four years of learning emotions.
Year four was harder than year three. I can't really tell you why. The 9th is actually the day that my dad was arrested. But everything happened about 2 weeks before that. Or so. I really had no concept of time. Except that I was happy when each day was over. It was a fight to get through each day. Some how this time of year always takes me by surprise. It's not exactly an "anniversary" I want to remember. This year it hit hard. In all the normal ways. I was emotional and overly sensitive. Poor Joe. He really is amazing and helps me through all this. I'd probably been emotional and sensitive and angry for almost two weeks before I realized yesterday why. It's a little easier to manage when I know what is going on.
I suppose that's why I've wanted my birthday to be good since then. It was all so close together I want something good going on in the midst of my mental chaos.
On a good note, year four is MUCH better than year one was.
Here's to year five being easier!
